Here is just one vision... mine for now... about relationships, about love. I choose to share it with you. Maybe some of you will like it or/and find it useful. This is not truth, this will have the value that you choose to grant to.

Let's start like if I was considering my relationships at only one level. I call them friendship, or couple, or love, or family. It's like I need to know in which box I put each relationship, to organize my life. And if things gets tricky, I'm so lost or even so hurt.

How do I do if I love and it's not shared ? If I love but cannot stay one day with her ? If I love two people ? If I love but have no desire ? If I have desire but feel no love ? And how do I know if it's love, by the way ? How do i classify this man I love so much but he's my friend ? But sometimes I want him so badly, much more than my husband... She loves me but I don't anymore ! I love him but he left with someone else !

I lived that world ! Too incoherent for me ! 9 cases on 10 are suffering ! I just left it !

Here is my world now. I experience relationship. I experience love. I experience attachment. I experience desire. These 4 experiences are all different and independant.

Relationship is a set of acts that I can decide voluntary ! It's friendship, or couple, or just people I know and met sometimes, or many other possibilities. I do different acts in each kind of relationship. That is my will !

Love is what I feel for someone and this movement in me that is talking about her or him. It's full respect and comprehension. Love is unconditional, cannot create any pain or suffering and is not exclusive. I cannot decide who I love and who I don't. I can only feel it !

Attachment is what I used to mix up with love. It's this movement in me that is talking about myself only. It's not feeling, it's emotions ! It's something I miss in me (or believe I do) and that I think I can get from the other person. It's a so strong and intense emotion, much more than love (which is much more entire, full, serene and vast.). It creates possessivity, jalousy and missing. I'm attached to the other person, I need him or her. I cannot control that, but I can search my inner hollow and overcome it.

Desire is how my sensation makes me feel about someone else. It's basic. I want to touch, taste, look, smell, hear. I used to project my desires to what kind of pleasure I could have with a specific act. And that is not desire anymore, it's thoughts and tentation. Desire is a pleasure for itself and is experienced in present, not in thoughts. Desire creates no tentation. I guess I'll tell more about this specific part later... I cannot decide who I desire and who I don't. I can only feel it.

These are 4 dimensions. For each human being I met, I decide one relationship, I feel how much I love him/her, I look how much I'm attached to him/her and I feel how much I desire him/her. I do not try to control my desire or love or attachment. As a human being, I cannot ! I listen to what my attachment is telling about myself and my lacks. There is no more need to classify one relationship in one concept. Each one is coloured with these 4 human experiences. I decide what I can humanly decide (relationship) and I don't try anymore to decide what I cannot (love or desire). I get free (overcoming attachments) !